The Bird Who Continues to Eat the Rabbit's Flower

I need to feel the inner light


So It's been another long exhausting day.. However I did do some semi productive things today..

Went to the DMV today and got a drivers handbook (so I can finally get my license) and this happened there:

A woman with her two children..
The woman had long acrylic nails on with pink and orange butterflies painted on them ... This is what i though when i saw them:

(only less bad ass and more white trash)


That's all I can ever think of when I see nails like that... Scary woman who would kill you with their claws.

Whats even worse is that she has children, that's even more troubling and her children had those dog leashes on them that look like these (or at least this is what I think of them):


They were actually pink and blue (for some reason the girl had blue and the boy had pink). Now the girl was about sixish maybe seven. and the boy was probably 3 or 4.

I thought wow that girl is way too old for one of those
(Well in my personal opinion no one should have those, because if you cannot your children you do not deserve to overpopulate the world with them). The girl looked like she was largely undeveloped and acted immature beyond all reasoning, she had Velcro shoes on and overalls with a stuffed animal of sorts in her hands (it was some mutilated dog thing) and the poor child walked around like she was on drugs, completely oblivious to the world around her.
While the boy STILL had a pacifier I don't know if any of you know this but that is way too old to be using one.

The mother would grow impatient with the DMV slaves and lash out at her children for being good (she was yelling at them for doing things that the were clearly not doing). The children just stared at the mother with the biggest deer in a headlights look you could imagine, they would flinch and squirm when she came near, which made me almost certain that she probably beat them. Not only that but I passed her earlier and she wreaked of liquor. I don't know why I stayed there so long if all I was getting was a handbook.
But I sat down staring at her poor sickly pale children and her overly died hair that should have died in the haties as did most things. She had wrinkles around her lips and I could tell that she was a heavy smoker too.

Eventually I had had enough of her antics, how she was pulling her children around anxiously and they were putting around scared and falling. I looked around to see if anyone was noticing the horrors I was, and either they were too busy with their unimportant lives or they were looking on and putting their heads down because they were sheep too afraid to stand up to what they new was right. So I took the initiative.
I went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, the tired whore of a mother looked at me and growled with her smoke stained teeth and said "Yes?"
-"Your unpleasant, and I think you should not treat your children this way"
--"Excuse me?"
-"Look at them, they are too old for how you are treating them, why don't you give them respect? Clean up your act, your a mother.
"
--"Since when do you know how to raise kids? What are you fifteen?, your just a little cockamamie whore who thinks she knows everything, you ain't got a lick of knowledge in your pretty little head!"
-"I know enough to know that coming to the DMV under the influence is not a good idea Ma'am, I also know that these children whether or not you want to admit it are also human beings and deserve caring respect which you are not giving them.
"
--"You little sewer rat cunt--"
-"Please stop, I didn't come here to make a scene just to tell you what every person in this room is thinking, Good Day Ma'am"
With that I placed my headphones on and walked as quickly as I could out of that god forsaken place. If she said anything more I didn't hear her.


When I got home I put my bad on the table and my father came in shortly after... "Why are you home?"
-"Ashley had to work, I'm sorry" (Ashley is my older sister)
--"Well don't you have any friends?"
-"Yes, none that live here though" (Davis)
--"Oh well find something to do tomorrow"
-"Hey Dad..."
--"Yes?"
-"I was wondering if we could make dinner together tonight?" (its 5pm)
--"Erryn it's really late and I'm really busy maybe some other time"
-"I don't understand it's not that late"
--"Erryn, I'm tired please..."
-"Okay Dad"

I went in my room and got really sad my eyes watered but I did not cry. then he came in and tried to buy my happiness and we got into an argument. I miss my mother...

I saw these today in a The Smiths commercial (I know crazy right?!) and it made me smile not just because it was The Smiths, (thanks Sean for talking to me during that and reminding me to smile):

(my favorite flower in what may be my favorite color of them)



... Also I can't wait for Wednesday, I think my mood will improve then. I needed a Wednesday for a while now.

30-12-08 3:06

Red Rabbits number two put off until friday

I know That there was supposed to be a whole Red Rabbits story this week and I have been working on it; however I have had so much going on lately (x-mas presents, other writings, working on character development, wow... I know that one is awful, and my duties as a social human being) that I have not really bee able to come up with something great and fantastic like I promised to the seven people that actually read this. So i will give you what I have worked on Details about this world I have created to fill in some gaps. I did actually write it but after reading it I realized it was not the master piece I promised, it was just boring. If you really want it I'll mail it to you but it's too sad to post. Also I am getting photoshop tonight so I can upload my drawings. So expect it to be posted either Friday or worse comes to worse over the weekend but defiantly before next Tuesday, you have my word.

Happy Holiday's
Marzipan

A Number Between One and Ten

A Number Between One and Ten

I hate that game,
I hate that you HAVE to guess 1 through 10
I have always chosen 8, because it usually wins
I despise how nostalgic everyone thinks it is
I sit here and think
"can't we just flip a coin?
Draw straws?
Do we HAVE to pick numbers?"
We HAVE t pick numbers though
it's so inhuman it really is
how sad that we are defined by numbers
"1,2,3,4"
that's all you are
"Number 4 is not close enough to the one I was thinking"
"5,6,7,8"
Sorry neither was 6
"9, 10"
"it was 2 so andy you get to go first"
That always irritated me
How the number you chose was always wrong
always
I hate that game
Since when did life become so simple
that 1 through 10 could solve all of our problems
we don't have to make decisions
just choose a number
its just a number, don't be rash
I'll be rash if i want to!
Why do we have to teach our young to be indecisive
Isn't that how the world gets into trouble
because no one can make a decision?
Unfortunately the world is not nostalgic enough
to use the 1 through 10 system
instead we do this:
"should we send 1 million soldiers or 10?"
"Why don't we just pick a number between 1 and 10"
"there lives don't matter, they are pawns"
we are all pawns...
all because no one can make the right decisions
at the right time.
I hate that game
But we all do it, don't we?
we all play that over bearing game every day.
I like flipping coins
because the number only goes up to 2
that's better.
two is better than ten

22/12/08 23:56

Cat poop

Cat poop--
We have this potted plant in my house and we have two cats: Summer (14 years my Mom's cat) and Jill (1 year, my cat). My mother complains about Jill so much, She rants and raves because Jill is slightly retarded. I always tell her that it's not jill's fault that she is slow (The vet actually told me my cat's "brain is lame"), she just has different needs and can't be left alone around cloth (she eats it). On another note last christmas, before I knew about Jill's problem, I had left her in the room with all of my x -mas clothing when I came back she had eaten over 300$ worth.
Tonight as my mom was discussing the fact that its not normal for my cat to run around in circles and hit her head, she smelled something, something rotten. She turned to me and said "have you checked the litter box? Your cat always leave really stinky poop." I groaned and walked down the hall, there was nothing there. i returned to find her horrified standing next to the plant in the dining room. "Look at this Erryn, look at this now!" I stood next to her and looked into the pot, it was filled with cat excrement. I looked at her and laughed, a little over the top. She glared at me and snarled she knew that it was not my cat deep down, because my cat loves litter boxes and she will wait until she is let inside just so she can use one, Where summer never seems to use it, and usually goes outside, or so we had thought. I looked at my mom with what may have been the biggest grin I had had in a very long time and said "Who has the stupid cat now?"

She had to empty the whole pot, and it made me happy.

22/12/08 19:15

IKEA

Today, I'm going to try to get some stuff done, and unfortunately I feel rather helpless, I'm downloading photoshop for mac right now, then I can scan my illustrations in there, and then you can all see my red rabbit concept stuff. It should all go well, and hopefully I can get that second one posted, anyways the only reason why any of you read these is because you are looking for humor. Here you go:

IKEA::: and why they think children are house pets.

I was in IKEA yesterday looking for Christmas presents and with some help from ikea hacker, I came up with some pretty rad ideas. While I was passing through the display area I came across the little kid area, now at first it is important to know that I was not aware that I was in the kid's area. I looked around and saw the little play places, I looked at my mom and said "those are some pretty elaborate little cat and dog houses huh?" My mom was in a little bit of shock when she turned and said "I'm tired of you being so damn cynical all the time, why do you continue to call children little beasts and animals? you were once one" I stared at her a little lost at first, and said "I love kids, I hate babies... there is a difference, and I thought those were dog and cat houses do they not look like dog and cat houses?" this is what I saw (I am aware the images are small, I want them to be)


Now excuse me if I'm wrong in saying this, but I have these tents and tunnels for my cat... please tell me if you can't imagine a little kitty playing around in one of those, but they were for children! I had thought at first that I was in the pet section not only because of those "play houses" but because I was certain that the child stuffed animals were chew toys (again I am aware that the pictures are small)


So after that horrible mess I we went on to get lights, I got one for my cousin, and I discovered that the lamp that I had chosen looked like psoriasis, (to my mistake I had by accident said syphilis, which led to a whole other discussion but that's not the point) so I then decided it would be out of the question to give that to her, no matter how emo she may be.

it's called snowflake, but up close in the store it really look nasty...
So i returned it for one that had twigs, I didn't really like it but whatever.


I have decided that ikea hack is awesome and ikea is not all it's lived up to be.
Also I got a a white mouse pad which now looks nothing like the original. The best thing i took away from this trip however was an argument this lady started near the exit. There was this woman with two of her children, one was a six year old boy and the other was a seven year old girl(I'm guessing). The boy was pushing the cart, but was lingering a bit because the Mom was standing waiting for the husband. There are two groups of people behind them trying to maneuver around the boy, they were not upset or impatient though, and I'm sure if the boy knew they were there he would have kindly moved. The mother looks at the child and starts to yell quite profoundly. "Move Now! can't you see they want you to move?!!" The boy became flustered and didn't quite know what to do with himself, so he did what any 6 year old would do in this situation, froze. "I knew you couldn't handle this responsibility, didn't I warn you, DIDN'T I?!!!" I'm sitting there thinking oh geese what a crazy woman... "Now move away so these people can get through!" she turned to the individuals behind her who were rather uncomfortable, for it wasn't that big of a deal "I'm so sorry about him, you know kids" Total mood change, a complete 180 she went from psycho mom to leave it to beaver in about .5 seconds. She then turned to the girl and made another 180 back to psycho.. "Take the cart away from him and put it back I knew you two could not have been responsible enough to take control of this, grow up!"

I was floored... Grow up? he was six and confused... Gris are crazy, and I am never going to be that kind of parent, if I decide to have kids which I dont think I will

classic: Panic Attacks

Panic Attack

I decided to get out of the house
Rode my bike as far as I could
I have no idea where I am
At some random coffee shop
i think i went around 10 miles
I'm sitting here
drinking tea
trying not to notice
the people talking about me
whispering in there way
Some event, about 15 minutes ago
"Are you sure your okay?"
the waitress isn't looking at my face
she's looking at my cut
"I'm fine i'm alive right?
This isn't hell right?"
"No it's not"
"Then I'm fine"
"Your bleeding"
"i'm fine."
17 minutes ago i ran into someone
Someone who wasn't there
They didn't talk, they never do
Just staring.
I looked at them
"what are you going to order?"
"earl gray green please"
staring, still
"we don't have that?"
not paying attention
"ma'am?"
"Oh well then just get me whatever you want"
"okay..."
she leaves
I look back and the person is gone
Meanwhile my glass is vibrating in my hand
I'm fine i thought, I'm safe
23 minutes ago I got an e-mail
how many 50 year men i've slept with
I ignored it
Another e-mail
something along slut and whore
and i'm just a toy
I ignored it
A call
I ignored it
One last e-mail, that I didn't ignore
I don't deserve a life it said
I told her where she could put her mouse and such
Said some things i shouldn't have
But it was a line she had crossed
A line that is very well marked
with neon lights and sirens and such
But she crossed it
So i said some things i really shouldn't have
I was hearing things i shouldn't have
My head started ringing
The waitress comes with tea
It wasn't very good
I struggle to keep focus
As i raise a trembling glass to my lips
I try to fight it
And i lost

29 minutes ago
my glass dropped
and shattered
I fell from the steel chair
onto the broken glass
losing focus of reality
when i realize whats going on
my arm and my lip are bleeding
i sit up still shaking
with a crowd around me
making sure they won't get sued
"I'm okay"
fake smile
"I'm a little clumsy"
fake laugh
My arms are wound behind my back
hiding my pulsing body

"here is your check"
she presses
they want me to leave
but i have no where to go
33 minutes ago
they were all afraid for there money
I finish my tea and now i'm almost ready
I hope i can make the ten mile trek back
"are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine"
fake smile
"don't worry i'm not going to sue you"
i can see a wave of relief
I have overstayed my welcome here
i better go somewhere else

27 sept 2008 16 21

OhBeast!!

Ohbeast! (venting)

I think that there may in fact be something incredibly wrong with me.. I look in the mirror on a daily basis and I become incredibly depressed. Mainly because i think all of my friends are liars. People say that I am incredibly skinny but its not really true at all, I have huge thighs and I may as well not even have ankles. I weigh around 107, I know this may sound bad but this is the most i have weighed in a very long time. Maybe it is just me, but when I came home today my sister looked at me and said "oh god your thighs look huge in those pants!" I need to start working out over this break, and I probably will, because I know this may sound really bad but looking back at everything I honestly do believe that I am out of shape, and I have some major fat I could lose, weight does not anger me so much but it would be nice to be under 100 lbs.

On another notes of looks and fashion, I hate it when people say that I am one of the most prettiest people that they know, because your lying and its obvious. I could point out a billion things wrong with me and at best I am above average on the looks scale, but just barley. I feel that I may have certain aspects that appeal to certain individuals more but it can not be looks, I don't care what anyone says because i know that I do not look great, and i don't care I just wish that people would stop shoving this bullshit down my face when its obvious to everyone that they are full of shit.

Anyways overall I am angry at how lazy I have been, I need to start doing things with my life and become responsible, I need to get a job.

20/12/08 22:54

Classic: I'm always there its always elsewhere

I'm always there, It's always elsewhere


So today ended well in a weird kinda way...

I felt really guilty afterwards, And i thought i refused to feel any guilt in this whole mess

So i'm like sitting here on the curb of the side walk

Just ran four miles maybe five

my heart is racing

and for once its not because i'm out of shape

I want to go to sleep i do

But i'm afraid that i might miss something

Today ended in the best way it could have

It could have never ended the way i wanted to

Because then for once

It would go the way i wanted

It was still very good though

My chest stings as the autumn air runs through my lungs

I can't do this I'm thinking 

I can't do this to that poor girl

Then i remember I already did

It's all over

My utter lack of a moral code is going to get me killed

Its only a matter of when

My mind and my heart are racing

I can understand how people get confused 

and become duelists

I am a monist though

I could never think them as one

My mind and my heart are racing

against each-other

And for some reason i desperately want my heart to win

But my mind is right

this is wrong

I don't care

"Lets tear this fucking place apart"

I just can't wait for this forsaken part to be over

It won't bother me which way my life goes

Just pick one for christs sake

"Lets tear our fucking bodies apart"

I can't be patti smith and audrey hepburn

"Lets just have some fun"

Today was magical in a way most nights could never be

Tonight kicked some ass

even though nothing good came from any of it

And yes this time i am nostalgic towards you, sir

I feel a little strange

Im going inside now

maybe lying down will help this madness

I wish i drank.....

26 Sept 2008 2:46

Red Rabbits 1

This is a mere introduction to your character and his world, the small series is not really going to play out this way the whole time just the first one, so you can get a sense of who he is and the world he lives in so this first issue has a more serious tone than what the rest will, because I have to paint a picture of where he lives for you.

"Fair morning I could say it was, It's 7 o'clock on what may be the most frllic o'days, 23rd o'flowers 2134"
His eyes cracked when he realized it was Sabbath, and he had once again wanted to sleep in on what was his only free day, He glared at his alarm clock and when he went to hit the snooze button, realized that he had disabled it. He wasn't exactly sure how nine minutes would have aided him, or why they even had it at nine minutes; why not keep it at a simple ten? Was ten minutes asking too much or to be considered late? He wanted eleven minutes of extra sleep not nine, but that was for another day, not the day he got off.
He was mildly thrown when he heard it was going to be frillic, for it had been such a long stretch of time, He wasn't quite sure about how thick the ash was this morning, so he grabbed his jacket, scarf, and hat. Walking out his small loft he remembered he had forgotten his ID card, which he was certain on of these days a Rossem was going to catch him not having it, so he ran back inside and grabbed it. Tripping out the door he read:
"Shanley Roan Nairn, Aug 10th 2107, Eyes: Green, Height: 182, Hair: Brown, Weight: 72, Ethnicity: Caucasian, Region: Vermont (North East Coast Sect. 2145), Occupation: Computer Science and Engineering, Clearance: 7A, SSN: 008-59-4210"
He always hated how the ID photographers were not happy until you looked miserable in your picture, he was certain it was some final act of revenge on their part for having such a pitiful job. He took out his umbrella and popped it as he saw it raining ash more heavily today than normal, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a mask and slipped it over his face (It almost resembled a SARS mask and a dust mask but not quite, for this one was made of a different durable cloth/plastic material, was a dark deep royal blue, and had green and orange embroidery on the edges and the straps were made of a heavy grey linen material). He walked down the street in a hurry pulling out his pocket watch to make sure he wouldn't be late, for all of the semi-decent parts in the store were usually taken by nine.
Shane opened the door to a rather old cluttered but clean repair and tool shop, there was an automated desk service drone that took his coat and hat while he brushed himself off before entering, he always disliked greeting drones for they never knew when you were ready to come in or to give up your coat and hat. Rushing in he smiled and said,
-"Good Day Skelly, have you caught a wind of my modules?"
An older man in his fifties poked his head up from behind the counter and fixed his monocle so he could see Shane and when he recognized him a smile stretched from ear to ear
--"Good Day Shane! How goes the work?"
He was avoiding the question, and rather obvious about it was a nervous smile.
-"It goes sir, but I need the use of those parts if I am to venture on in this project."
Shane caught him and knew that Skelly was in avoidance.
--"I have seen your work, it is sheer genius my boy, it is quite frillic today am i right? I must be because you still have your facade on."
Shane blushed and tore it off and apologized, for it was an extreme rude gesture to wear one indoors but he was in quite a hurry.
--"You’re a fine young man Shane, and I have acquired your parts that you will need, however you must be careful because two of these are not in your clearance to buy."
Shane looked shocked for he did not understand, nothing in his list struck him as an item that he would not have clearance to buy.
-"Well tell me good fellow what goods can I not acquire?"
Skelly looked up and smiled
--"Exactly, or figuratively, that is a conversation that I could carry on 'ours devours" Shane kept a straight face.
--"Alright don't you chortle to your grave over in your corner, you do not have clearance for the small phalange joints or opposable thumb criteria parts"
Shane sighed
-"I though that may be the case, I don't entirely see why the Rossem's wouldn't want me building a drone with hands."
Skelly looked at him in a sort of quizzical expression holding Shane’s card with a grin only a Cheshire cat could reproduce
-“Why Sir, do you make yourself marry looking at my card in such a way, does it please you to know my sector? Speak Man!”
Skelly placed came out from behind the desk and returned the card to Shane and pressed a button out of about twenty on an old dingy grey remote attached to a series of long extension cords and cables. In doing this the service drone from earlier appeared with Shane’s dark green trench coat, and his steel blue top had with a black sash.
--“I gargled at such a card to show why you cannot purchase these items.”
Shane in his frustration grabbed his trench and hat abruptly and the drone spun a little
--“It’s your job title, you see it’s a lil bit intriguing when a boy with so much potential and a occupation of Computer Science and Engineering comes in to get some parts that could make a useful robotic whatever have you”
-“It’s just an ornamental term for a progenitor”
--“Yeah but the Rossem’s see a threat, so I’m sorry lad but your clearance cannot help you here.”
Shane grabbed his things and placed on his mask before leaving to the outdoors, toke his items and left without another word to Skelly. Walking back angrly he assumed that the end of a fifty-seven year depression would allow him more clearance to be able to buy the products he needed. The walk from the general repair store to his loft was only about three blocks and he rather enjoyed the walk and to him he almost enjoyed frillic days, it meant that the unhealthy stayed indoors so the streets were less crowded and it was almost like snow, he had not seen any snow in about 2 years so this was the closest he got. He walked through the ash, staring at the cars going by, they seemed so small and uncomfortable to him, and he couldn’t understand why anyone would ever want one. He came to his building, which kept his loft and swiped his ID card, stepped through what once was a stunning fiberglass entryway, and was now discolored and disfigured. He went through the doors and came across a row of elevators. This type of complex he was in is called a wasper, it’s resembles a wasps nest in the way that it is built vertical and in any other way possibly available to physics at the time. You had a row of elevators at the bottom of every eighteen columns that were connected in a grid to the rooms and would move horizontal, and vertical to reach the room your ID card was recognized to. If you wanted to see a friend you had to type in their room number and name, and wait for a confirmation from the resident. Shane waited for the elevator to come back down, swiped his card and watched the electricity waves pulse through the grid as it brought him to his loft.
He muffled with his key ring and managed to get out his keys and walked inside, his cat ran to him and glared at him angrily as Shane had once again forgotten to feed her cat food that was not expired.
-“I’m sorry, I had to go to the mart my dear.”
She walked away as trying to give him the sign that this sort of behavior was inexcusable and could no longer continue
He looked about his room and threw his shoulder bag on what was once tan couch, tripped over the small chest that served as a coffee table and cursed as he fumbled for the light switch. The lights unveiled a small loft witch was almost unbearable for one person to live in. The chest and couch were about four feet from the door, and alongside the back of his couch was metal frame twin size bed with lockers underneath. Past the couch and chest there was a table, which you couldn’t really see because it was covered with papers and scraps of metal, with a work light above it. Surrounding the table and chair were several counters with cabinets and a food preperaitor, all dingy and obviously misused and under kept. A food preperaitor was a machine that held perishable items and also heated and cooked food, so it was almost like a refrigerator, freezer, microwave, oven, and prep system all in one box that looked a little like a vending machine and would select the food you wanted and send an electrical current to heat, freeze and serve whatever you had stored. In front of the chest was a bookshelf, which also served as a door to the restroom, it was not a secret door of any sort for it was very obvious that it served both and had a large handle to prove so.
Shane looked at his project on the table sadly; he was a little miffed that it would not be able to have hands yet. He took his paintbrush and in a silver color painted the name Conroy on what looked to be a metal bunny tale. Shane smiled and looked at his new toy, a red robotic rabbit with silver eyes and features.
-“Niamh, how does Conroy sound? Is that a good name for your new friend?”
Niamh turned away and went on his bed, she wanted Shane to know her disgust in his taste of cat food.

project 14122149

I am sitting in my room right now in a piercing cold climate to deaths end, thinking why on this good god earth did I hit my head, I'm dizzy and frankly rather faint. Its probably around 35 degrees outside and about 50 in my room. To me this is al a bit strange, you see for some bizarre reason or another I keep getting questions asked about a side project I have been working on for quite some time, one that has been compiled of sheets of paper that are supposed to be class notes and what has littered my small black note books for the past five months. I have decided however that I have had enough of all of this and I am going to give this story I have been working on its own blog and it's own weekly posts that unlike my current blog, I will update it. Although it's going to take about a week to compile all of my shorts into a story,so your going to have to bear with me and allow myself a week to get all of my random writing together. My characters story (he doesn't have a name in any of them) will be a little fantastic and surreal, most of the stories either fall between almost fantasy and a psychotic dream. I'm hoping that this will be a brilliant project to keep me occupied, and overall it will force me to become a better writer. So look forward to something fun to read on tuesdays, I'm hoping to release this next tuesday. It shouldn't be that difficult right?
It's not really going to have much of a plot by the way, just different stories about this imaginary person that I made up a long time ago, as well as some illustrations of him that I made. Well this will be an interesting side project I think.
_mars

1412082149

Ren and Stimpy 11121131

Ren and Stimpy
i know a lot of my friends enjoy this show, however I don't get why people enjoy it so much, I'm watching it in my Animal behavior. I don't understand why I wanted to see when squirrels attack but it seems that watching crazy rodents attacking rattlesnakes is too much to ask for. I think that this shows a problem with American society when a mass majority of the class would rather see the stupidity of the nineties rather than demon squirrels which at least somewhat applies to Animal behavior.
I like to think that South Park, Bevies and Butt head all are in the same caliber at least Family guy has a little bit of intelligence. Seriously the whole episode was about fathering a fart, and to me thats symbolizes the retardation of our "civilized" society as a whole. So as I sit here angrily watching a fart getting married to a dead cod ask yourselves this: Why on this great Earth with so many wonders on it, would you waste your life laughing at this?
1112081131

Sylvavnas (nerdom at its hight)

So I'm glad that along with the new patch they changed sylvanas' model to a blood Elf instead of a night elf, It was always weird for me when I first started, because originally I had thougth Sylvanas was a night elf due to her facial markings and such, but now she looks like she should and all is well, I still think that they should have changed it with the release of BC, but whatever I'm not going to complain.

_The Reason for this post was to announce that I'm going to make a sylvanas costume, although I may end up settling for an undead rogue, I'm not sure though. I still have to get a job which will fund this project, so there is no contract as to what I am doing. I would love to make my blood elf rogue costume, but everyone does a blood elf.... So the only way on this planet I would dress as a BE is if I was sylvanas, I was thinking as going as a Night Elf, but thats way too complicated and I am not nearly tall enough to pull that off, although the rest of my body type fits it, I'll probably just end up going undead... I'm just day dreaming here:

0412081951

I love how your clothes stick to you
How your back arches
Your pupils dilate
your legs part
when you look at me
and I know you want me
I smile
I gesture
We stretch
And your body quivers
I can feel your hair stand on end
All I can do is want you
When you look at me
With your quickened breath
and heighten senses
I know
that deep down
This is the only was possible
That we could want / need each other
I want more so bad
But all i can think of
is how bad all this will end
You'll never talk to me again
and thats how it will be
I hope it ends better
04/12/08 19:51

0412081940

My mind cranking
The chest burns
my lungs are twisting
And I'm on the pavement
It's cold
And I like it
I'm laying on my driveway
starring out at the sky
There is no sky There are no stars
The moon is plain
Everything is dark
My mind is blank
But I am euphoric
I am laughing
Because without them
I am fine
I am happy without them
I don't have to worry
I am myself
Today I will tell them the truth
04/12/08 19:40

Yard work 0412082009

So I decided that in the future I can not do yard work, It's absolutely dreadful... All I wanted to do was go somewhere, and the Nazi of my Movement decreed that I should do work before going anywhere, I raked out the leaves and was forced to mow the front lawn, I can't mow very well, in fact it's almost comical how garbage I am. my churchie neighbors hire Mexican workers to do there yard work, and so do my other neighbors that the IRS are looking for. Now when i came out in my royal blue puma shorts, and Morrissey shirt with a pair of dirty old vans I figured that no one was going to be worried for I had come to butcher my front yard. Wrong, the yard workers from both neighbors were working on the yards, with all of their fancy mowers, blowers and sheers. Me and my childish frail figure halls out a lawn mower that could engulf me. I look at them smile, pump the button on the side, and it takes me about five minutes to get the irritated piece of machinery working. They look at my and say something in Spanish, I start to mow dancing to my ipod which was playing Ok Go at the time, I probably looked ridiculous but at that time I don't think I really cared much. While the yard workers on both sides of me make these perfect little lawns, i continue to slaughter this piece of greenery in front of me, i then remembered you can't spell slaughter without laughter and I commenced to burst out in a frantic hysteria, and I ran into my weak little tree in the front. At this point I am certain the workers think I'm insane, I finish my job and go inside. I come back out to get the mail only to discover the yard workers had come and gone over my lawn because the site of my work must have made their stomachs turn, it is only so apparent that my irish side shows more than my Mexican half.
04/12/08 20:09

Aura's 20111126

My death and dying professor coached us how to view auras today. He stood up and drew a spiral on the the chalk board. He said in his utmost deep voice, "stare at the center of spiral and focus as hard as you can while lifting up your hands to the side of your head to where you can barley see your palms in your peripheral vision." While I did I started feeling incredibly sleepy, my eyes were burning and i kept losing focus. While everyone else was seeing the spiral move and twist, and all i got was a burry figure of chalk. He pulled down the white screen behind him and said "Lets see if you can see my aura!" he stood in front of the screen and he instructed that we stare the same way above his head. I could barley focus and I was falling asleep .... I would see a light white and yellow glow around him and then I would lose focus. Everyone said they could see red, purple, green, black, blue and white as swirling around in some chaotic kaleidoscope and all i saw was a tiny bit of fuzz. He suddenly ducked out of the screen and ran off and everyone gasped, I was a little bit confused; yes the fuzz stayed behind but that always happens. I thought thats not an aura! Thats what happens if you stare at a color for too long ... Oh i really hope thats not it. If it is then its no longer magical, Here is what I saw take your pen or maker whatever have you and draw a medium size circle and fill it in. now stare at the circle without blinking for about 10 seconds and look away to a neutral background like white.
you should see something like this:
if its a black circle you should see a white one
red - green
blue- orange
purple - yellow
This is not an aura but this is what I saw when I looked at my teacher, I'm going to do some research and if this is an aura I'm going to be pissed....

20/11 11:26

Shopping 20111059

went shopping last night, and I kept wondering the same notion over and over again; if you have any kind of companion whatsoever, why on God's great earth would you they let you leave the house in your contemporary shape. I saw a mother with a son, the son looked like a portly standard human being, but the mother looked ghastly. Her eyebrows seemed to be drawn on by 5 year old with an orange sharpie, and I mean like decomposing putrid carrot orange. Her face had an air of sadness as her son helped her move along the cart with her. The woman's age was about 60 and her son around the age of 40. She had wiry fair sand brown hair with grey roots, and her skin was weathered. She walked so tired and I had a brooding idea : "Why doesn't her poor son help her with her appearance, why would he not take care of someone who for so long cared for him?"

20/11 10:59

Money 17112156

ts really quite lamentable I have been having affairs with my mac and there is this senseless tile game on it and it troubles me so much I have depleted my past hour and a half philandering with the forlorn diversion device..
In any case it is all too apparent that I need to find myself a job somewhere so I can make some amount of money to buy the things that I need.
I need a lot of things its rather sad to think about it.
I am so broke and it bothers me tho know that my friends pay for me a lot I want to be the friend with money, and what not. I want to be able to have some amount of money so I can buy the things that in my eyes will make me a better person, they aren't even that expensive. I'm just being foolish
Really really childish and ghoulish
Even so I don't mind


17/11 21:56

CD's 17112018

Have you ever thought of the perfect music that just makes you want to scream out your insides? The perfect CD set a musical track that only makes sense if your spending an intimate experience with someone. The melodies are drastically changing and if your listening to it not thinking about or doing something intimate action it really isn't wonderful at all. It doesn't even have to be sex or anything like that, maybe just kissing, holding, or even a discussion; Whichever but it really is every kind of music you could could possibly want to make out with someone too. I'm talking about Of Montreal's Skeletal Lamping. This is what this CD was created for i decided, the cover depicts people dancing and hanging about naked, its not really sexual, its sorta like looking at one of those greek paintings of naked people with the cherubs and such. Anyways thats all I could think about today. So I was a little bummed when my life couldn't be as magical as I wanted it to be.

17/11 20:18

Jack In the Box 16112045

Well lets see,
I freaked out a little today...
Well More like I discovered a couple of things today and almost reinvented myself.
Almost though not quite, I went to go watch Zach and Miri make a porno, which was kinda a lot better than I expected. I was like ehh at first, and then like Oh jeasum Crow thats awesome. I have a tendency to fall in a mad infatuation with Seth Rogan every time I see one of his movies, which would in tail explain why I am constantly gravitating to that one person who reminds me of him but then again not really.

"We can do it soft - core if you want, but you should know I take it both ways" .... What the hell does that mean?! and I have noticed that the Of Montreal CD i recently acquired called "Skeletal Lamping" is much more sexual than the others then again the singer/lyrisist likes "The Story of the Eye" which is practically porno in book form, by the way this whole CD reminds me of George Bukowski.

Okay excuse that bit of a rant, anyways after the movie, I had a sudden and urgent need to use the restroom so I ran into Jack in the Box to discover a couple of things:
-An older scraggly looking man with glasses, who reminded me of one of those old pilots who are still in the military even though they should have retired (only happens in movies) anywoo he was about 70ish maybe homless I'm not sure but I knew if I wasn't in a hurry I would have much liked to talk to him.
-Two young girls in a booth far in the corner chuckled and chortled widely as I had entered and I was a bit confused like "Oh dear they messed up the toilets didn't they? I knew it couldn't have gone easy" Well they didn't and they were probably around the age of 13-15 maybe 16 but i don't think so. They had there Camera phone out and were taking pictures of some hilarity outside the window, it was probably something stupid, but who cares right?

"I want to turn you on, I want to make you cum 200 hundred times a day" - see what I mean?

-As I re emerge back from out of the restroom I see The two girls again sigh, and shake my head as they remain in their small insignificant world, One of them had rings on all her fingers with a boy haircut and a red plaid shirt, the other one was blond and looked older with a dark grey coat I think? I looked at them for about a half a second so thats all I really have on them, like I said I was in a hurry.

"I took her standing in the kitchen, ass against the sink " -like seriously about every song is like this but I love it still!

-I walk out of the door and the man in the dark green coat, the older one maybe a 'Nam vet I'm not sure though. He looked really interesting I wanted to just sit in the chair across from him and talk about lovely things that we could only understand. He had no where to go, but sadly I did
-I went outside into the parking lot where I almost walked into the drive through area because I was staring at the moon and lights reflecting off of the pavement.

"I want you to be my pleasure puss, I want to know how it feels to be inside you" -Hmmm yeah every song >..<

Anyways, As I reverted my path away from certain death, I noticed the man in his car ordering curly fries and I suddenly felt really depressed like "is this really how simple life has become?" It made me rather upset as I hoped and prayed that I would never become that simple, but according to my good Sir i try My hardest to be different as If I really strived to or something, I don't think I do I think it just happens...

16/11 20:45

My Camera

For the past three weeks I have ben staring at my once awesome camera and all it keeps flashing is "LENS ERROR: 122,1,0,0" the camera lens is permanently in the outward position and it won't take pictures anymore. I love technology especially when it does stuff like this. It makes me happy to be a consumer. I'm looking at new cameras right now and deciding if its just worth it to discard this one and get a new one. I'm not sure though its a pretty slick model 8.2 mega pixels so I'm hesitant to just throw it out. I need to figure out the cost of the repair vs the cost of a new camera... more importantly both of these require money which requires a source of income which I currently don't have....

 so I'm going to go job hunting seriously on monday. I hate my life I really don't want to get a job.

What Am I Doing?

Well where do I start???

A couple of people have asked me to start one up and well I'm a sucker peer pressure that isn't against the law. basically this is how its going to work:

-I'm going to either buy a new camera or get my old one fixed and start taking pictures of all the strange and fantastic things that happen to me on a basis

-I'm going to start my blog it might be image based like cwc but I haven't made any sure decisions yet.

This will help me fix my current lack of writing skill and may even be entertaining to some of you

Lets see if my little project will be a success or a failure!

I'm excited for this development and hopefully you are too!