Classic: I'm always there its always elsewhere

I'm always there, It's always elsewhere


So today ended well in a weird kinda way...

I felt really guilty afterwards, And i thought i refused to feel any guilt in this whole mess

So i'm like sitting here on the curb of the side walk

Just ran four miles maybe five

my heart is racing

and for once its not because i'm out of shape

I want to go to sleep i do

But i'm afraid that i might miss something

Today ended in the best way it could have

It could have never ended the way i wanted to

Because then for once

It would go the way i wanted

It was still very good though

My chest stings as the autumn air runs through my lungs

I can't do this I'm thinking 

I can't do this to that poor girl

Then i remember I already did

It's all over

My utter lack of a moral code is going to get me killed

Its only a matter of when

My mind and my heart are racing

I can understand how people get confused 

and become duelists

I am a monist though

I could never think them as one

My mind and my heart are racing

against each-other

And for some reason i desperately want my heart to win

But my mind is right

this is wrong

I don't care

"Lets tear this fucking place apart"

I just can't wait for this forsaken part to be over

It won't bother me which way my life goes

Just pick one for christs sake

"Lets tear our fucking bodies apart"

I can't be patti smith and audrey hepburn

"Lets just have some fun"

Today was magical in a way most nights could never be

Tonight kicked some ass

even though nothing good came from any of it

And yes this time i am nostalgic towards you, sir

I feel a little strange

Im going inside now

maybe lying down will help this madness

I wish i drank.....

26 Sept 2008 2:46