I know That there was supposed to be a whole Red Rabbits story this week and I have been working on it; however I have had so much going on lately (x-mas presents, other writings, working on character development, wow... I know that one is awful, and my duties as a social human being) that I have not really bee able to come up with something great and fantastic like I promised to the seven people that actually read this. So i will give you what I have worked on Details about this world I have created to fill in some gaps. I did actually write it but after reading it I realized it was not the master piece I promised, it was just boring. If you really want it I'll mail it to you but it's too sad to post. Also I am getting photoshop tonight so I can upload my drawings. So expect it to be posted either Friday or worse comes to worse over the weekend but defiantly before next Tuesday, you have my word.
Happy Holiday's
Marzipan
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A Number Between One and Ten
A Number Between One and Ten
I hate that game,
I hate that you HAVE to guess 1 through 10
I have always chosen 8, because it usually wins
I despise how nostalgic everyone thinks it is
I sit here and think
"can't we just flip a coin?
Draw straws?
Do we HAVE to pick numbers?"
We HAVE t pick numbers though
it's so inhuman it really is
how sad that we are defined by numbers
"1,2,3,4"
that's all you are
"Number 4 is not close enough to the one I was thinking"
"5,6,7,8"
Sorry neither was 6
"9, 10"
"it was 2 so andy you get to go first"
That always irritated me
How the number you chose was always wrong
always
I hate that game
Since when did life become so simple
that 1 through 10 could solve all of our problems
we don't have to make decisions
just choose a number
its just a number, don't be rash
I'll be rash if i want to!
Why do we have to teach our young to be indecisive
Isn't that how the world gets into trouble
because no one can make a decision?
Unfortunately the world is not nostalgic enough
to use the 1 through 10 system
instead we do this:
"should we send 1 million soldiers or 10?"
"Why don't we just pick a number between 1 and 10"
"there lives don't matter, they are pawns"
we are all pawns...
all because no one can make the right decisions
at the right time.
I hate that game
But we all do it, don't we?
we all play that over bearing game every day.
I like flipping coins
because the number only goes up to 2
that's better.
two is better than ten
22/12/08 23:56
I hate that game,
I hate that you HAVE to guess 1 through 10
I have always chosen 8, because it usually wins
I despise how nostalgic everyone thinks it is
I sit here and think
"can't we just flip a coin?
Draw straws?
Do we HAVE to pick numbers?"
We HAVE t pick numbers though
it's so inhuman it really is
how sad that we are defined by numbers
"1,2,3,4"
that's all you are
"Number 4 is not close enough to the one I was thinking"
"5,6,7,8"
Sorry neither was 6
"9, 10"
"it was 2 so andy you get to go first"
That always irritated me
How the number you chose was always wrong
always
I hate that game
Since when did life become so simple
that 1 through 10 could solve all of our problems
we don't have to make decisions
just choose a number
its just a number, don't be rash
I'll be rash if i want to!
Why do we have to teach our young to be indecisive
Isn't that how the world gets into trouble
because no one can make a decision?
Unfortunately the world is not nostalgic enough
to use the 1 through 10 system
instead we do this:
"should we send 1 million soldiers or 10?"
"Why don't we just pick a number between 1 and 10"
"there lives don't matter, they are pawns"
we are all pawns...
all because no one can make the right decisions
at the right time.
I hate that game
But we all do it, don't we?
we all play that over bearing game every day.
I like flipping coins
because the number only goes up to 2
that's better.
two is better than ten
22/12/08 23:56
Monday, December 22, 2008
Cat poop
Cat poop--
We have this potted plant in my house and we have two cats: Summer (14 years my Mom's cat) and Jill (1 year, my cat). My mother complains about Jill so much, She rants and raves because Jill is slightly retarded. I always tell her that it's not jill's fault that she is slow (The vet actually told me my cat's "brain is lame"), she just has different needs and can't be left alone around cloth (she eats it). On another note last christmas, before I knew about Jill's problem, I had left her in the room with all of my x -mas clothing when I came back she had eaten over 300$ worth.
Tonight as my mom was discussing the fact that its not normal for my cat to run around in circles and hit her head, she smelled something, something rotten. She turned to me and said "have you checked the litter box? Your cat always leave really stinky poop." I groaned and walked down the hall, there was nothing there. i returned to find her horrified standing next to the plant in the dining room. "Look at this Erryn, look at this now!" I stood next to her and looked into the pot, it was filled with cat excrement. I looked at her and laughed, a little over the top. She glared at me and snarled she knew that it was not my cat deep down, because my cat loves litter boxes and she will wait until she is let inside just so she can use one, Where summer never seems to use it, and usually goes outside, or so we had thought. I looked at my mom with what may have been the biggest grin I had had in a very long time and said "Who has the stupid cat now?"
She had to empty the whole pot, and it made me happy.
22/12/08 19:15
We have this potted plant in my house and we have two cats: Summer (14 years my Mom's cat) and Jill (1 year, my cat). My mother complains about Jill so much, She rants and raves because Jill is slightly retarded. I always tell her that it's not jill's fault that she is slow (The vet actually told me my cat's "brain is lame"), she just has different needs and can't be left alone around cloth (she eats it). On another note last christmas, before I knew about Jill's problem, I had left her in the room with all of my x -mas clothing when I came back she had eaten over 300$ worth.
Tonight as my mom was discussing the fact that its not normal for my cat to run around in circles and hit her head, she smelled something, something rotten. She turned to me and said "have you checked the litter box? Your cat always leave really stinky poop." I groaned and walked down the hall, there was nothing there. i returned to find her horrified standing next to the plant in the dining room. "Look at this Erryn, look at this now!" I stood next to her and looked into the pot, it was filled with cat excrement. I looked at her and laughed, a little over the top. She glared at me and snarled she knew that it was not my cat deep down, because my cat loves litter boxes and she will wait until she is let inside just so she can use one, Where summer never seems to use it, and usually goes outside, or so we had thought. I looked at my mom with what may have been the biggest grin I had had in a very long time and said "Who has the stupid cat now?"
She had to empty the whole pot, and it made me happy.
22/12/08 19:15
IKEA
Today, I'm going to try to get some stuff done, and unfortunately I feel rather helpless, I'm downloading photoshop for mac right now, then I can scan my illustrations in there, and then you can all see my red rabbit concept stuff. It should all go well, and hopefully I can get that second one posted, anyways the only reason why any of you read these is because you are looking for humor. Here you go:
IKEA::: and why they think children are house pets.
I was in IKEA yesterday looking for Christmas presents and with some help from ikea hacker, I came up with some pretty rad ideas. While I was passing through the display area I came across the little kid area, now at first it is important to know that I was not aware that I was in the kid's area. I looked around and saw the little play places, I looked at my mom and said "those are some pretty elaborate little cat and dog houses huh?" My mom was in a little bit of shock when she turned and said "I'm tired of you being so damn cynical all the time, why do you continue to call children little beasts and animals? you were once one" I stared at her a little lost at first, and said "I love kids, I hate babies... there is a difference, and I thought those were dog and cat houses do they not look like dog and cat houses?" this is what I saw (I am aware the images are small, I want them to be)
Now excuse me if I'm wrong in saying this, but I have these tents and tunnels for my cat... please tell me if you can't imagine a little kitty playing around in one of those, but they were for children! I had thought at first that I was in the pet section not only because of those "play houses" but because I was certain that the child stuffed animals were chew toys (again I am aware that the pictures are small)
So after that horrible mess I we went on to get lights, I got one for my cousin, and I discovered that the lamp that I had chosen looked like psoriasis, (to my mistake I had by accident said syphilis, which led to a whole other discussion but that's not the point) so I then decided it would be out of the question to give that to her, no matter how emo she may be.
it's called snowflake, but up close in the store it really look nasty...
So i returned it for one that had twigs, I didn't really like it but whatever.
I have decided that ikea hack is awesome and ikea is not all it's lived up to be.
Also I got a a white mouse pad which now looks nothing like the original. The best thing i took away from this trip however was an argument this lady started near the exit. There was this woman with two of her children, one was a six year old boy and the other was a seven year old girl(I'm guessing). The boy was pushing the cart, but was lingering a bit because the Mom was standing waiting for the husband. There are two groups of people behind them trying to maneuver around the boy, they were not upset or impatient though, and I'm sure if the boy knew they were there he would have kindly moved. The mother looks at the child and starts to yell quite profoundly. "Move Now! can't you see they want you to move?!!" The boy became flustered and didn't quite know what to do with himself, so he did what any 6 year old would do in this situation, froze. "I knew you couldn't handle this responsibility, didn't I warn you, DIDN'T I?!!!" I'm sitting there thinking oh geese what a crazy woman... "Now move away so these people can get through!" she turned to the individuals behind her who were rather uncomfortable, for it wasn't that big of a deal "I'm so sorry about him, you know kids" Total mood change, a complete 180 she went from psycho mom to leave it to beaver in about .5 seconds. She then turned to the girl and made another 180 back to psycho.. "Take the cart away from him and put it back I knew you two could not have been responsible enough to take control of this, grow up!"
I was floored... Grow up? he was six and confused... Gris are crazy, and I am never going to be that kind of parent, if I decide to have kids which I dont think I will
IKEA::: and why they think children are house pets.
I was in IKEA yesterday looking for Christmas presents and with some help from ikea hacker, I came up with some pretty rad ideas. While I was passing through the display area I came across the little kid area, now at first it is important to know that I was not aware that I was in the kid's area. I looked around and saw the little play places, I looked at my mom and said "those are some pretty elaborate little cat and dog houses huh?" My mom was in a little bit of shock when she turned and said "I'm tired of you being so damn cynical all the time, why do you continue to call children little beasts and animals? you were once one" I stared at her a little lost at first, and said "I love kids, I hate babies... there is a difference, and I thought those were dog and cat houses do they not look like dog and cat houses?" this is what I saw (I am aware the images are small, I want them to be)
Now excuse me if I'm wrong in saying this, but I have these tents and tunnels for my cat... please tell me if you can't imagine a little kitty playing around in one of those, but they were for children! I had thought at first that I was in the pet section not only because of those "play houses" but because I was certain that the child stuffed animals were chew toys (again I am aware that the pictures are small)
So after that horrible mess I we went on to get lights, I got one for my cousin, and I discovered that the lamp that I had chosen looked like psoriasis, (to my mistake I had by accident said syphilis, which led to a whole other discussion but that's not the point) so I then decided it would be out of the question to give that to her, no matter how emo she may be.
it's called snowflake, but up close in the store it really look nasty...
So i returned it for one that had twigs, I didn't really like it but whatever.
I have decided that ikea hack is awesome and ikea is not all it's lived up to be.
Also I got a a white mouse pad which now looks nothing like the original. The best thing i took away from this trip however was an argument this lady started near the exit. There was this woman with two of her children, one was a six year old boy and the other was a seven year old girl(I'm guessing). The boy was pushing the cart, but was lingering a bit because the Mom was standing waiting for the husband. There are two groups of people behind them trying to maneuver around the boy, they were not upset or impatient though, and I'm sure if the boy knew they were there he would have kindly moved. The mother looks at the child and starts to yell quite profoundly. "Move Now! can't you see they want you to move?!!" The boy became flustered and didn't quite know what to do with himself, so he did what any 6 year old would do in this situation, froze. "I knew you couldn't handle this responsibility, didn't I warn you, DIDN'T I?!!!" I'm sitting there thinking oh geese what a crazy woman... "Now move away so these people can get through!" she turned to the individuals behind her who were rather uncomfortable, for it wasn't that big of a deal "I'm so sorry about him, you know kids" Total mood change, a complete 180 she went from psycho mom to leave it to beaver in about .5 seconds. She then turned to the girl and made another 180 back to psycho.. "Take the cart away from him and put it back I knew you two could not have been responsible enough to take control of this, grow up!"
I was floored... Grow up? he was six and confused... Gris are crazy, and I am never going to be that kind of parent, if I decide to have kids which I dont think I will
Saturday, December 20, 2008
classic: Panic Attacks
Panic Attack
I decided to get out of the house
Rode my bike as far as I could
I have no idea where I am
At some random coffee shop
i think i went around 10 miles
I'm sitting here
drinking tea
trying not to notice
the people talking about me
whispering in there way
Some event, about 15 minutes ago
"Are you sure your okay?"
the waitress isn't looking at my face
she's looking at my cut
"I'm fine i'm alive right?
This isn't hell right?"
"No it's not"
"Then I'm fine"
"Your bleeding"
"i'm fine."
17 minutes ago i ran into someone
Someone who wasn't there
They didn't talk, they never do
Just staring.
I looked at them
"what are you going to order?"
"earl gray green please"
staring, still
"we don't have that?"
not paying attention
"ma'am?"
"Oh well then just get me whatever you want"
"okay..."
she leaves
I look back and the person is gone
Meanwhile my glass is vibrating in my hand
I'm fine i thought, I'm safe
23 minutes ago I got an e-mail
how many 50 year men i've slept with
I ignored it
Another e-mail
something along slut and whore
and i'm just a toy
I ignored it
A call
I ignored it
One last e-mail, that I didn't ignore
I don't deserve a life it said
I told her where she could put her mouse and such
Said some things i shouldn't have
But it was a line she had crossed
A line that is very well marked
with neon lights and sirens and such
But she crossed it
So i said some things i really shouldn't have
I was hearing things i shouldn't have
My head started ringing
The waitress comes with tea
It wasn't very good
I struggle to keep focus
As i raise a trembling glass to my lips
I try to fight it
And i lost
29 minutes ago
my glass dropped
and shattered
I fell from the steel chair
onto the broken glass
losing focus of reality
when i realize whats going on
my arm and my lip are bleeding
i sit up still shaking
with a crowd around me
making sure they won't get sued
"I'm okay"
fake smile
"I'm a little clumsy"
fake laugh
My arms are wound behind my back
hiding my pulsing body
"here is your check"
she presses
they want me to leave
but i have no where to go
33 minutes ago
they were all afraid for there money
I finish my tea and now i'm almost ready
I hope i can make the ten mile trek back
"are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine"
fake smile
"don't worry i'm not going to sue you"
i can see a wave of relief
I have overstayed my welcome here
i better go somewhere else
27 sept 2008 16 21
I decided to get out of the house
Rode my bike as far as I could
I have no idea where I am
At some random coffee shop
i think i went around 10 miles
I'm sitting here
drinking tea
trying not to notice
the people talking about me
whispering in there way
Some event, about 15 minutes ago
"Are you sure your okay?"
the waitress isn't looking at my face
she's looking at my cut
"I'm fine i'm alive right?
This isn't hell right?"
"No it's not"
"Then I'm fine"
"Your bleeding"
"i'm fine."
17 minutes ago i ran into someone
Someone who wasn't there
They didn't talk, they never do
Just staring.
I looked at them
"what are you going to order?"
"earl gray green please"
staring, still
"we don't have that?"
not paying attention
"ma'am?"
"Oh well then just get me whatever you want"
"okay..."
she leaves
I look back and the person is gone
Meanwhile my glass is vibrating in my hand
I'm fine i thought, I'm safe
23 minutes ago I got an e-mail
how many 50 year men i've slept with
I ignored it
Another e-mail
something along slut and whore
and i'm just a toy
I ignored it
A call
I ignored it
One last e-mail, that I didn't ignore
I don't deserve a life it said
I told her where she could put her mouse and such
Said some things i shouldn't have
But it was a line she had crossed
A line that is very well marked
with neon lights and sirens and such
But she crossed it
So i said some things i really shouldn't have
I was hearing things i shouldn't have
My head started ringing
The waitress comes with tea
It wasn't very good
I struggle to keep focus
As i raise a trembling glass to my lips
I try to fight it
And i lost
29 minutes ago
my glass dropped
and shattered
I fell from the steel chair
onto the broken glass
losing focus of reality
when i realize whats going on
my arm and my lip are bleeding
i sit up still shaking
with a crowd around me
making sure they won't get sued
"I'm okay"
fake smile
"I'm a little clumsy"
fake laugh
My arms are wound behind my back
hiding my pulsing body
"here is your check"
she presses
they want me to leave
but i have no where to go
33 minutes ago
they were all afraid for there money
I finish my tea and now i'm almost ready
I hope i can make the ten mile trek back
"are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine"
fake smile
"don't worry i'm not going to sue you"
i can see a wave of relief
I have overstayed my welcome here
i better go somewhere else
27 sept 2008 16 21
OhBeast!!
Ohbeast! (venting)
I think that there may in fact be something incredibly wrong with me.. I look in the mirror on a daily basis and I become incredibly depressed. Mainly because i think all of my friends are liars. People say that I am incredibly skinny but its not really true at all, I have huge thighs and I may as well not even have ankles. I weigh around 107, I know this may sound bad but this is the most i have weighed in a very long time. Maybe it is just me, but when I came home today my sister looked at me and said "oh god your thighs look huge in those pants!" I need to start working out over this break, and I probably will, because I know this may sound really bad but looking back at everything I honestly do believe that I am out of shape, and I have some major fat I could lose, weight does not anger me so much but it would be nice to be under 100 lbs.
On another notes of looks and fashion, I hate it when people say that I am one of the most prettiest people that they know, because your lying and its obvious. I could point out a billion things wrong with me and at best I am above average on the looks scale, but just barley. I feel that I may have certain aspects that appeal to certain individuals more but it can not be looks, I don't care what anyone says because i know that I do not look great, and i don't care I just wish that people would stop shoving this bullshit down my face when its obvious to everyone that they are full of shit.
Anyways overall I am angry at how lazy I have been, I need to start doing things with my life and become responsible, I need to get a job.
20/12/08 22:54
I think that there may in fact be something incredibly wrong with me.. I look in the mirror on a daily basis and I become incredibly depressed. Mainly because i think all of my friends are liars. People say that I am incredibly skinny but its not really true at all, I have huge thighs and I may as well not even have ankles. I weigh around 107, I know this may sound bad but this is the most i have weighed in a very long time. Maybe it is just me, but when I came home today my sister looked at me and said "oh god your thighs look huge in those pants!" I need to start working out over this break, and I probably will, because I know this may sound really bad but looking back at everything I honestly do believe that I am out of shape, and I have some major fat I could lose, weight does not anger me so much but it would be nice to be under 100 lbs.
On another notes of looks and fashion, I hate it when people say that I am one of the most prettiest people that they know, because your lying and its obvious. I could point out a billion things wrong with me and at best I am above average on the looks scale, but just barley. I feel that I may have certain aspects that appeal to certain individuals more but it can not be looks, I don't care what anyone says because i know that I do not look great, and i don't care I just wish that people would stop shoving this bullshit down my face when its obvious to everyone that they are full of shit.
Anyways overall I am angry at how lazy I have been, I need to start doing things with my life and become responsible, I need to get a job.
20/12/08 22:54
Classic: I'm always there its always elsewhere
I'm always there, It's always elsewhere
So today ended well in a weird kinda way...
I felt really guilty afterwards, And i thought i refused to feel any guilt in this whole mess
So i'm like sitting here on the curb of the side walk
Just ran four miles maybe five
my heart is racing
and for once its not because i'm out of shape
I want to go to sleep i do
But i'm afraid that i might miss something
Today ended in the best way it could have
It could have never ended the way i wanted to
Because then for once
It would go the way i wanted
It was still very good though
My chest stings as the autumn air runs through my lungs
I can't do this I'm thinking
I can't do this to that poor girl
Then i remember I already did
It's all over
My utter lack of a moral code is going to get me killed
Its only a matter of when
My mind and my heart are racing
I can understand how people get confused
and become duelists
I am a monist though
I could never think them as one
My mind and my heart are racing
against each-other
And for some reason i desperately want my heart to win
But my mind is right
this is wrong
I don't care
"Lets tear this fucking place apart"
I just can't wait for this forsaken part to be over
It won't bother me which way my life goes
Just pick one for christs sake
"Lets tear our fucking bodies apart"
I can't be patti smith and audrey hepburn
"Lets just have some fun"
Today was magical in a way most nights could never be
Tonight kicked some ass
even though nothing good came from any of it
And yes this time i am nostalgic towards you, sir
I feel a little strange
Im going inside now
maybe lying down will help this madness
I wish i drank.....
26 Sept 2008 2:46
So today ended well in a weird kinda way...
I felt really guilty afterwards, And i thought i refused to feel any guilt in this whole mess
So i'm like sitting here on the curb of the side walk
Just ran four miles maybe five
my heart is racing
and for once its not because i'm out of shape
I want to go to sleep i do
But i'm afraid that i might miss something
Today ended in the best way it could have
It could have never ended the way i wanted to
Because then for once
It would go the way i wanted
It was still very good though
My chest stings as the autumn air runs through my lungs
I can't do this I'm thinking
I can't do this to that poor girl
Then i remember I already did
It's all over
My utter lack of a moral code is going to get me killed
Its only a matter of when
My mind and my heart are racing
I can understand how people get confused
and become duelists
I am a monist though
I could never think them as one
My mind and my heart are racing
against each-other
And for some reason i desperately want my heart to win
But my mind is right
this is wrong
I don't care
"Lets tear this fucking place apart"
I just can't wait for this forsaken part to be over
It won't bother me which way my life goes
Just pick one for christs sake
"Lets tear our fucking bodies apart"
I can't be patti smith and audrey hepburn
"Lets just have some fun"
Today was magical in a way most nights could never be
Tonight kicked some ass
even though nothing good came from any of it
And yes this time i am nostalgic towards you, sir
I feel a little strange
Im going inside now
maybe lying down will help this madness
I wish i drank.....
26 Sept 2008 2:46
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