0412081951

I love how your clothes stick to you
How your back arches
Your pupils dilate
your legs part
when you look at me
and I know you want me
I smile
I gesture
We stretch
And your body quivers
I can feel your hair stand on end
All I can do is want you
When you look at me
With your quickened breath
and heighten senses
I know
that deep down
This is the only was possible
That we could want / need each other
I want more so bad
But all i can think of
is how bad all this will end
You'll never talk to me again
and thats how it will be
I hope it ends better
04/12/08 19:51

0412081940

My mind cranking
The chest burns
my lungs are twisting
And I'm on the pavement
It's cold
And I like it
I'm laying on my driveway
starring out at the sky
There is no sky There are no stars
The moon is plain
Everything is dark
My mind is blank
But I am euphoric
I am laughing
Because without them
I am fine
I am happy without them
I don't have to worry
I am myself
Today I will tell them the truth
04/12/08 19:40

Yard work 0412082009

So I decided that in the future I can not do yard work, It's absolutely dreadful... All I wanted to do was go somewhere, and the Nazi of my Movement decreed that I should do work before going anywhere, I raked out the leaves and was forced to mow the front lawn, I can't mow very well, in fact it's almost comical how garbage I am. my churchie neighbors hire Mexican workers to do there yard work, and so do my other neighbors that the IRS are looking for. Now when i came out in my royal blue puma shorts, and Morrissey shirt with a pair of dirty old vans I figured that no one was going to be worried for I had come to butcher my front yard. Wrong, the yard workers from both neighbors were working on the yards, with all of their fancy mowers, blowers and sheers. Me and my childish frail figure halls out a lawn mower that could engulf me. I look at them smile, pump the button on the side, and it takes me about five minutes to get the irritated piece of machinery working. They look at my and say something in Spanish, I start to mow dancing to my ipod which was playing Ok Go at the time, I probably looked ridiculous but at that time I don't think I really cared much. While the yard workers on both sides of me make these perfect little lawns, i continue to slaughter this piece of greenery in front of me, i then remembered you can't spell slaughter without laughter and I commenced to burst out in a frantic hysteria, and I ran into my weak little tree in the front. At this point I am certain the workers think I'm insane, I finish my job and go inside. I come back out to get the mail only to discover the yard workers had come and gone over my lawn because the site of my work must have made their stomachs turn, it is only so apparent that my irish side shows more than my Mexican half.
04/12/08 20:09

Aura's 20111126

My death and dying professor coached us how to view auras today. He stood up and drew a spiral on the the chalk board. He said in his utmost deep voice, "stare at the center of spiral and focus as hard as you can while lifting up your hands to the side of your head to where you can barley see your palms in your peripheral vision." While I did I started feeling incredibly sleepy, my eyes were burning and i kept losing focus. While everyone else was seeing the spiral move and twist, and all i got was a burry figure of chalk. He pulled down the white screen behind him and said "Lets see if you can see my aura!" he stood in front of the screen and he instructed that we stare the same way above his head. I could barley focus and I was falling asleep .... I would see a light white and yellow glow around him and then I would lose focus. Everyone said they could see red, purple, green, black, blue and white as swirling around in some chaotic kaleidoscope and all i saw was a tiny bit of fuzz. He suddenly ducked out of the screen and ran off and everyone gasped, I was a little bit confused; yes the fuzz stayed behind but that always happens. I thought thats not an aura! Thats what happens if you stare at a color for too long ... Oh i really hope thats not it. If it is then its no longer magical, Here is what I saw take your pen or maker whatever have you and draw a medium size circle and fill it in. now stare at the circle without blinking for about 10 seconds and look away to a neutral background like white.
you should see something like this:
if its a black circle you should see a white one
red - green
blue- orange
purple - yellow
This is not an aura but this is what I saw when I looked at my teacher, I'm going to do some research and if this is an aura I'm going to be pissed....

20/11 11:26

Shopping 20111059

went shopping last night, and I kept wondering the same notion over and over again; if you have any kind of companion whatsoever, why on God's great earth would you they let you leave the house in your contemporary shape. I saw a mother with a son, the son looked like a portly standard human being, but the mother looked ghastly. Her eyebrows seemed to be drawn on by 5 year old with an orange sharpie, and I mean like decomposing putrid carrot orange. Her face had an air of sadness as her son helped her move along the cart with her. The woman's age was about 60 and her son around the age of 40. She had wiry fair sand brown hair with grey roots, and her skin was weathered. She walked so tired and I had a brooding idea : "Why doesn't her poor son help her with her appearance, why would he not take care of someone who for so long cared for him?"

20/11 10:59

Money 17112156

ts really quite lamentable I have been having affairs with my mac and there is this senseless tile game on it and it troubles me so much I have depleted my past hour and a half philandering with the forlorn diversion device..
In any case it is all too apparent that I need to find myself a job somewhere so I can make some amount of money to buy the things that I need.
I need a lot of things its rather sad to think about it.
I am so broke and it bothers me tho know that my friends pay for me a lot I want to be the friend with money, and what not. I want to be able to have some amount of money so I can buy the things that in my eyes will make me a better person, they aren't even that expensive. I'm just being foolish
Really really childish and ghoulish
Even so I don't mind


17/11 21:56

CD's 17112018

Have you ever thought of the perfect music that just makes you want to scream out your insides? The perfect CD set a musical track that only makes sense if your spending an intimate experience with someone. The melodies are drastically changing and if your listening to it not thinking about or doing something intimate action it really isn't wonderful at all. It doesn't even have to be sex or anything like that, maybe just kissing, holding, or even a discussion; Whichever but it really is every kind of music you could could possibly want to make out with someone too. I'm talking about Of Montreal's Skeletal Lamping. This is what this CD was created for i decided, the cover depicts people dancing and hanging about naked, its not really sexual, its sorta like looking at one of those greek paintings of naked people with the cherubs and such. Anyways thats all I could think about today. So I was a little bummed when my life couldn't be as magical as I wanted it to be.

17/11 20:18